my first wife, the Beast from 50,000 Fathoms, and I had an agreement about the credit card: neither would buy anything worth more than $100 without the other agreeing to it.

the day our marriage exploded precipitously, I got on the phone to Fordham Scopes (previously I just got their catalog and liked to drool over it) and bought a Hitachi dual-trace radio frequency oscilloscope (fancy-schmanzy, but not the Top Of The Line, and a lot cheaper than a US-made Tektroniks), and one of those “Come Out With Your Hands Above Your Head!” battery handheld loudspeakers.

So far 3 people have seen it and said, “I thought only police could own those.”

At least in the USA, if you can tell the salesperson the catalog number over the phone, and your credit card goes through, you can buy one. I use it for my model rocket club to yell FIVE FOUR THREE TWO ONE ZERO!!! Everybody gets very excited. Also when somebody comes over with little kids, I send them outside with the loudspeaker. They always know exactly how to use it. If you don’t hold your mouth up to it just right, it makes a lot of SKREEEEEEEEEEE feedback.

The Beast from 50,000 Fathoms was really shaken and frightened when the oscilloscope and the loudspeaker showed up on the credit card statement. Who knew what I might do next?

get over here so i can kick you