Sort of a Protest Blog

I wrote a novel about life on a planet named Gramma-Nine, which had low gravity compared to Earth. The people there used to fly around. Sometimes they jumped and never landed.

This created terrible problems for the people of Gramma-Nine. The law of gravity required that objects with mass attract each other. This was a problem because the people of Gramma-Nine were ugly.

This is what an asshole looks like.

But the Federal Government came through with an emergency program. It gave a heavy lead ball to every man, woman, and child on planet Gramma-Nine.

There was a cable with a harness on it attached from each ball. With the help of the balls, Gramma-Ninians could go on inhabiting the planet without fear of floating off into space.

Unfortunately, they were still ugly and died of lead poisoning.

Starbucks is annoying sometimes… well all the time. Someone should just go in there and ask the ‘barista’ to supersize their ‘tall’ mocachino. Wait, I already did. The girl laughed a bit and then rung in my overly expensive ‘tall’ coffee. Starbucks is everywhere, more so in downtown Vancouver. I really didn’t think this street had enough of them, please build three more Starbucks, thanks.

Anyway, I tried to count how many Starbucks I came across but as soon as I got into Metrotown, bam. I lost count. Let’s see, one at Chapters, the foodcourt, the Skytrain station, by an A&W, bah. Too many.

Bah. Can’t we just call them what they are? Small, medium, and large. One exception, Grande Supremo would be a sweet name.

So on my way to the “Comedy of Errors” I met Eli by chance on the Skytrain. We immediately sat and watched this kid, the Pinball Wizard, talk to everyone on the Skytrain.

“DO YOU KNOW HOW TO MOTION TWEEN!??!!”

I hate kids like that. The girl in the green dress was hot.

Anyway, the G-Union is on strike. Expect crime rates to go down and German poetry to go up.

SPAKE!

I meant to write detterence…

(more…)

I was trying to think of a name. I’ll either call what I’m putting in the Bus Stop Chronicles or the actual book.

Since some of the SoaPB readers are writing in it, what do you think?

So as I hurried off from bothering Nuisance to the bus stop, a man approached me. He said he was part of some Japanese organization at UBC that “has over 9000 members!”. He then asked me to hold out my palms and strangely enough I did. He waved his hands around and asked if I felt the powers of the universe. For a while I wondered if this guy was going to try and take my wallet so I changed stance and readied myself to beat the shit out of him. But unfortunately he didn’t. I remember chasing down some two-bit break and enter case with my dad. Now that was fun, we had baseball bats :D. Continuing on, the guy seemed to be really into all his mumbo jumbo. I restrained myself from laughing and continued to wonder what the hell this was all about. I concluded that he was part of some cult and that all the students at UBC would eventually succumb to them. He shook my hand and then I realized he probably thought I was Japanese. I played along and continued to be taller than him. He ran across the street to bother some other unsuspecting people.

I love how we’re all so polite in Canada.

It seems that this was the “Usui Reiki Ryoho” society.

Reiki (ray-key) is a natural healing technique that feels like a flow of a high frequency of energy into and through a practitioner, and out the hands into another person