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Four More Years

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I laughed out loud when I read this:

 

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2004/10/23/151846/07

 

Using the combination of stolen insider memos from the White House, prognostication and just plain makin' shit up, I have assembled the COMPLETE agenda for a second Bush term. After reading about Bush's plans through 2009, I think we can all agree there haven't been this many remarkable sequels since the "Rocky" series.

 

        GEORGE W. BUSH'S AMERICA, Part II

 

Four More Years: Compassionater Conservativousness

 

 

MAJOR INITIATIVES

  Second Term

 

Leave No Child Unborn Act

Following on the heels of the stem-cell decision, Bush will propose an amendment to the United States Constitution which will outlaw the "spilling of seed". Each Sperm will be recognized as ½ of a person, entitled to ½ a vote and ½ a tax break. "Murder" of semen will be punishable by ½ the death penalty.

 

Defense of Marriage II: Bush goes Medieval

Expanding on both his belief that a marriage consists of one man and one woman, and his steel-spined (Thanks Zel!) desire to confront threats before they can harm Americans; George Bush will introduce a bill before Congress which calls for pre-emptive strikes against non-marrieds who are of the same sex. Adult males will no longer be allowed to assemble in even numbered groups unless they are carrying firearms.

 

Healthy Oceans, Beautiful Outdoors Act (HOBO)

The republicans will drill for oil in ANWR, then drill for gas in Yellowstone, drill for diamonds in Utah, drill for salt in the Everglades and drill for contributions on Wall Street.

 

Patriot Act 3: Rise of the Machines

John Ashcroft will be outfitted with micro-cybernetic implants that will amplify his hearing and extend his eyesight into the ultra-violet and infrared ranges. Upon the authority of the president or one of his voters, a person may be designated an "enemy battle-bot" and placed indefinitely in a cage with other bots to battle to the death without access to a lawyer.

 

Tax Eliminatation eXpansion and Security (TEXAS) Act

Two-pronged approach: 1) Taxes are eliminated on all income above $35,000 per year for individuals and corporations. 2) Since the rich no longer need to evade taxes, all lawyers and accountants will be sent to Crawford, Texas to clear brush.

 

Bill of Extreme Rights

The words "...IF I SAY SO." will be added at the end of each of the first ten amendments to the U.S. Constitution.

 

Additional programs will include: Having Laura Bush's chiseled grin placed next to Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore; "Blue" states will be consolidated into three states (with Schwarzenegger as governor in all three), New Massachusetts, Califoreganington and Midwest Dakota; Tort reform: John Edwards will be dressed up in a chicken suit and pelted with eggs each time an instance of medical malpractice is proven.

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The message I get from Bush (who is "pro-life", yet pro death penalty and started the Iraq war) is that unborn life is precious but once you're born you're fair game.

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if Bush gets to rule the USA (and the whole world) for four more years, WE ARE IN DANGER, the Americans are in danger, the whole world is in danger...

 

i cannot pray for him not to win the elections (I'm not a religious person), but i will send as much possitive feeling as possible so as Bush doesnt win...

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I liked the part about a sperm being half a person, and murder of semen being punishable by half the death penalty.

me too!

 

Bush is so much fun (in his ignorance). He should stay in office for the humour value of it.

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