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This stuff is just terrible, but hilarious all the same. The Emo Kid made me laugh my ass off because I know so many people who could relate to it.


Dear diary,

Mood: Apathetic


My life is spiralling downward. I couldnt get enough money to go to the "Blood Red Romance" and "Suffocate Me Dry" concert. It sucks because they play some of my favourite songs like "Stab My Heart Because I Love You" and "Rip Apart My Soul" and of course, "Stabby Rip Stab Stab" and it doesn't help that I couldn't get my hair into that flippy thing like that guy in that band could, some days...


I'm an emo kid,

non-conforming as can be.

You'd be non-conforming too if you looked just like me.

I have paint on my nails and make-up on my face.

I'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs.

Cuz I feel real deep when I'm dressing in drag.

I call it freedom of expression, you'll just call me a fag,

Because our dudes look like chicks and our chicks look like dykes,

Because emo is one step, below transvestite.


Stop my breathing and slit my throat.

I must be emo.

I dont jump around when I go to shows.

I must be emo.

I'm dark, and sensitive, with a low self esteem.

The way I dress makes everyday feel like Halloween.

I have no real problems but I like to make believe.

I stole my sister's mascara now I'm grounded for a week.


Sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies.

I can't get through a Hawthorne Heights album without sobbing.

Girls keep breaking up with me.

It's never any fun.

They say they already have a pussy, they don't need another one.


Stop my breathing and slit my throat.

I must be emo.

I dont jump around when I go to shows.

I must be emo.

Dye in my hair and polish on my toes.

I must be emo.

I play guitar and write suicide notes.

I must be emo.


My life is just a black abyss. You know it's so dark and it's suffocating me, grabbing a hold of me and tightening it's grip, tighter than my little sisters jeans - which look great on me by the way.


When I get depressed I cut my wrists in every direction.

Hearing songs about getting dumped give me an erection.

I write in a livejournal and wear thick rimmed glasses.

I tell my friend I bleed black, and cry during classes.

I'm just a bad, cheap, immitation of goth,

Reading Catcher and the Rye and watch me jack off.

I wear skin tight clothes while hating my life.

If I said I liked girls i'd only be half right.


I look like i'm dead and dress like a homo.

I must be emo.

Screw xbox, i play old school nintendo.

I must be emo.

I like to whine and hit my parentals.

I must be emo.

Me and my friends all look like clones.

I must be emo.


My parents don't get me you know. They think I'm gay just because they saw me kiss a guy...Well, a couple guys, but I mean it's the 2000's. Can't 2 or 4 dudes make out with each other without being gay? I mean chicks dig that kind of thing anyways.


I don't know, diary. I think you're the only one that gets me. You're my best friend.


I feel like tacos.

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