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RicardoObviouso

Bye Car

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Correction: You like trucks because you have a small penis. And need something to transport the bodies around.

 

I have a solution to stop global warming in its tracks: keep men from owning cars with engines with more cylinders than their penis size in inches, and keep women from driving cars with engines with more cylinders than their height in feet. The latter would cut down on those women that can't be more than five feet tall sitting behind the wheel of their fucking Suburban while they're unable to see over the top of the dashboard.

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Correction: You like trucks because you have a small penis. And need something to transport the bodies around.

 

I have a solution to stop global warming in its tracks: keep men from owning cars with engines with more cylinders than their penis size in inches, and keep women from driving cars with engines with more cylinders than their height in feet. The latter would cut down on those women that can't be more than five feet tall sitting behind the wheel of their fucking Suburban while they're unable to see over the top of the dashboard.

That's a fucking awesome idea!

 

ecnarf for Environment Minister.

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I'll put it in my platform when I'm the head of the Green Party. If men don't want to submit by having their penises measured (by hot 20 something female nurses, of course), they get to ride their bikes around. That's the only way it will work. The downside to this is that if you're riding around on a single-cylinder or two-cylinder motorcycle... forget it. Motorcycles will have lost their sex appeal.

 

Back on topic: While walking back to the main building of school today, I was talking with someone and whining about the stupidity of SUV's, particularly:

 

-BMW X3's and X5's: exist solely for the purpose of allowing soccer mom's to buy both BMW's and an SUV in one convenient, poor-handling package

-Porsche Cayenne: a Porsche SUV is an oxymoron

 

So then this short kid who must have been in grade 10 turns around and said, "Don't talk about Porsche SUV's like that again."

 

"Who the hell buys a Porsche SUV?"

"I do. I have one."

"Oh, is it yours, then? Besides, what's the point of owning a Porsche if it weighs 3000 pounds?"

 

And then I saw a BMW 5 make a left hand turn onto the wrong side of the road. I'm not kidding you. They turned into the wrong side of the median. That idiot was pretty goddamned lucky nobody was coming into the lane, otherwise he would have ruined his Bimmer.

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My buddy has a F'ing'-150 as well. same year. I laugh at him constantly but still ask for rides every once in a while. Like when we go to Whistler and stuff it's good. Better than my Celica getting all dirty in the snow.

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the worst part is he got financed through Wells Fargo which is a loan sharking company... he did the push pull or drag sale thing so they gave him $4000 for his 91 POS. he financed $19,500 and he pays $477 a month for 72 months.

 

thats over $34,000. which is fucking terrible, but not quite as scary as the fact that only $200 of the $477 paid every month is paying principal. yeah $277 every month is interest.

 

he shit his pants when i sat him down to tell him that he got had by a financing company.

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My buddy got the same kind of crap deal. And he knows it. And He's fine with it. I could see loving a car so much that you would pay that much for it, but it's not even his 'baby' or anything. As mine is. Her name is Takua.

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the worst part is he got financed through Wells Fargo which is a loan sharking company... he did the push pull or drag sale thing so they gave him $4000 for his 91 POS. he financed $19,500 and he pays $477 a month for 72 months.

 

thats over $34,000. which is fucking terrible, but not quite as scary as the fact that only $200 of the $477 paid every month is paying principal. yeah $277 every month is interest.

 

he shit his pants when i sat him down to tell him that he got had by a financing company.

How high is this guy's interest rate? And is the payment on one of those variable rate things there you initially pay more interest than principal and it changes later on?

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