Loaded

[Ravenous megin-sane]

why would i have a problem? i'm perfect

[ecnarf]

Don't you get it?

 

The first step is admitting that you do have a problem. I spun it around to be funny.

 

P.S. Yes, you are perfect.

[Dan #2]

Yesterday at work, i split a twelve pack with another guy. God i love my job.

[RicardoObviouso]

i went to a house warming party last night. i was planning on taking it easy, but i ended up getiing comepletely smashed.

 

i played a poker game with 5 other guys at $200 buy in. i won. drunk. never having played a full game of poker in my life. all i remember after that is going down the highway... then waking up at 4am with the new girl from my office beside me asking what my address was, then slamming my door as she left because i told her to go outside and look. then she text messaged me and told me she was crying and that i was a jerk.

 

this morning i woke up and had $1200 in my pocket and what i thought to be the makings of a massive hangover... but im fine.

Edited February 26, 2006 by one_trick_pony

[Ravenous megin-sane]

Don't you get it?

 

The first step is admitting that you do have a problem. I spun it around to be funny.

 

P.S. Yes, you are perfect.

don't you get it?

 

i was being silly and continueing with the play on words.

[Dan #2]

So you're down to the secretary now?

[RicardoObviouso]

no. the new girl.

 

my secretary is like 37, divorced and has absolutely no interest in a guy like me. plus shes professional... whereas the new girl just wants the dick all the time and has even gone as far as trying to straddle me in my office when no one's around.

[Dan #2]

I meant in your office.

Are you down to just yourself and your secretary?

[RicardoObviouso]

no. the new girl and one other guy. i have an agency that is currently interviewing for two positions, so when those two get hired, i bring in a sales-bootcamp trainer guy named paul, he whips them into shape, gives them the lowdown on how i roll, then its easy street.

[Dan #2]

So the newgirl knows you're an asshole but didn't quit?

[ecnarf]

That's because women love assholes.

 

P.S. onetrickpony - you wouldn't happen to have a position for a guy who's going to graduate this summer, would you? In the neighbourhood of, say, a few grand a month. Qualifications: an OSSD and my common sense. I can be your ski buddy, but will likely need a place to stay in Vancouver. You can just give me an office, and I'll roll out my futon and sleeping bag at night. I do, however, come with all ski gear ready to go.

 

I also double as a wingman.

[RicardoObviouso]

fuck. that sounds tempting. maybe i'll just find you a job out here and put your wingman and skiing skills to work on the weekends.

 

 

all jokes aside though, you need one or all of these under your name bar to get a job in my office (or in the industry, for that matter):

CFA

CFP

ChFC

the good news is you dont need any licenses, which are a pain in the ass, unless you want to get into stocks, bonds, mutual funds and all that fun shit.

Edited February 26, 2006 by one_trick_pony

[ecnarf]

So, what, a few hundred thousand dollars and a decade worth of schooling? I can pull it off by next Wednesday.

 

P.S. How did you manage to work in a management position in such an industry 5-6 years out of high school?

[strummer]

from drinking to jobs....i love train of thought

[Azalroth]

I'm gonna guess that he started early and learned as he went, probably fast tracked as much as possible.

 

Also he's probably a great people person and knows how to talk to the public in any situation...most early success people are like that.

Edited February 27, 2006 by Azalroth

[RicardoObviouso]

...thats pretty much it.

 

 

and adam, it doesnt cost nearly that much or take nearly that long. i'm no doctor.

[ecnarf]

Well, if I'm gonna get all three degrees, I'd bet it would take the better part of a decade. If I just went for one, then the standard 3 or 4 years would do it.

 

Anyways, I've condensed all the schooling into one simple sentence: Buy low, sell high. That's all I'll ever need to know.

 

Example one:

 

Customer: Uhh, hi, can you tell me how to make money playing the stock market?

Adam: Buy low, sell high.

 

Example two:

 

Customer: Uhh, hi, can you tell me how to make more money playing the stock market?

Adam: Buy lower, sell higher.

 

Example three:

 

Non-customer: Can you tell me where your bathroom is?

Adam: Get the fuck out.

[RicardoObviouso]

financial advisors and investment analysts dont do the "buy low sell high" routine... thats for stock brokers.

 

 

i just tell them WHAT to buy and then i manage their money. if they dont want to listen to me, then they're wasting their money, because unlike a stock broker, i get paid wether they buy stock or not.

Edited February 27, 2006 by one_trick_pony

[Dan #2]

ewwwww, he's good!

[Lauren]

or very good..