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My first bar ever was in Blacksburg, South Carolina and it looked like a doublewide trailer on 10 feet of bricks and you had to walk up wooden steps to get inside. I was 18, never carded once and got fondled by some hag in her 50s who was missing teeth.

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My first bar ever was in Blacksburg, South Carolina and it looked like a doublewide trailer on 10 feet of bricks and you had to walk up wooden steps to get inside.  I was 18, never carded once and got fondled by some hag in her 50s who was missing teeth.

hahahaha that made me crack up - best one yet.

 

EDIT: guess I should tell one too.

 

A bunch of my friends and I went to a strip club (Barefax, for all you Ottawa'ers)... long story short, my friend got incredibly shit-faced and we bought him a private dance. They went upstairs, he made out with her, gave her his phone number, told her he loved her, and couldn't wait to help raise her baby, which I think was about 3 years old. Classic.

Edited by mself084
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On that same night, I tried to play that popular song from the O' Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack and accidentally played another song off the CD. It was this depressing bagpipe sounding stuff that sounded like funeral music. Everyone hated it and made the bartender turn down the jukebox volume until it was over.

Edited by valetudo
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there used to be this one pool hall/ bar I used to go to - the bathroom was covered in pages of porn. Made for uncomfortable moments when you're drunk pissing in a urinal staring at nudie pics and some other drunk comes in, pisses in the unrinal next to you and starts talking to you about his favorite pics.

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there used to be this one pool hall/ bar I used to go to - the bathroom was covered in pages of porn. Made for uncomfortable moments when you're drunk pissing in a urinal staring at nudie pics and some other drunk comes in, pisses in the unrinal next to you and starts talking to you about his favorite pics.

They just want to bond, man.

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When i went to Montreal, (not this newyears, but the one before) me and my friends were wandering the street at about 1am, having a great time with all the drunk people on the street. We get to this bar, and there's a guy outside saying its the best bar around here, has the best sound system blah blah. We're all totally shittered so we agree, and go inside. We all notice this good looking blonde on the way in.* We all go in to the bar and order a drink. I then notice two guys grinding on the dance floor, then another 2, etc. I look to my left and there's a private room with one half naked guy prancing around naked with like 8 other guys watching. By this time i'm convinced that something is amiss. I nudge my one friend in the arm and say "im pretty sure this is a gay bar man" he looks around, and then he just freaks out. we gathered up the troops, and left immediately. I even left half a beer ;). I notice on the way out that that blonde we saw on the way in actually had an adams apple.

 

 

it's surprising how long it took us to notice though.

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ok. so the drinking age in alberta is 18. which is sweet. but i was at a bar a few days ago, and its actualy just a neighoburhood pub, and a shitty one at that, it sucks, service blows, all the servers have 100 foot rods up their asses, and it just sucks.SO now they dont allow groups of more that 4 under the age of 21. beacuse young people fight. so i guess that all young people fight all the time, fuck you coach and horse, i will never go back, one time was too much.

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