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Fundamentalists Say The Darndest Things

By Sparq, in Politics and Debate: WRONG!

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Sparq

Sparq

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CLICKY

 

Hilarious (but potentially disturbing, I guess) stuff. It's posts and threads pulled from other forums, mostly religion-related, but some conspiracy and general racial or political stuff as well. Some of it is really out-there. Check out the top 100 for the best of the month's harvest. Here's a couple recent samples:

 

"Occam's Razor Disagrees" Award

"I am a bit troubled. I believe my son has a girlfriend, because she left a dirty magazine with men in it under his bed. My son is only 16 and I really don't think he's ready to date yet. What's worse is that he's sneaking some girl to his room behind my back. I need help, God! I want my son to stop being so secretive!"

-Linda, Good news prayer room, 2006-Oct-28

 

Post of the Month

"No, everyone is born Christian. Only later in life do people choose to stray from Jesus and worship satan instead. Atheists have the greatest "cover" of all, they insist they believe in no god yet most polls done and the latest research indicates that they are actually a different sect of Muslims."

-Trinidad and Tobago, CARM, 2006-Oct-01

 

Fundamentalism In A Nutshell Award

"There are a lot of things I have concluded to be wrong, without studying them in-depth. Evolution is one of them. The fact that I don't know that much about it does not bother me in the least."

-AV1611VET, Christian Forums, 2006-Sep-12

 

I haven't posted it here because it was all caps, but there's one about a guy who apparently exorcised demons from his cat, and knows they left because the cat yawned. Isn't the internet great?

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Moonlight_Graham

Moonlight_Graham

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i love the irony in this one:

 

""The book [Farenheight 451] had a bunch of very bad language in it," Diana Verm said. "It shouldn't be in there because it's offending people. ... If they can't find a book that uses clean words, they shouldn't have a book at all."

 

Alton Verm filed a "Request for Reconsideration of Instructional Materials" Thursday with the district regarding "Fahrenheit 451," written by Ray Bradbury and published in 1953. He wants the district to remove the book from the curriculum.

 

"It's just all kinds of filth," said Alton Verm, adding that he had not read "Fahrenheit 451." "The words don't need to be brought out in class. I want to get the book taken out of the class."

 

He looked through the book and found the following things wrong with the book: discussion of being drunk, smoking cigarettes, violence, "dirty talk," references to the Bible and using God's name in vain. He said the book's material goes against their religions beliefs. The Verms go to Grand Parkway Church in Porter."

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Sparq

Sparq

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It's an internet alias. I tend to call you Super here. Hell, I've played paintball with people who called me "Sparky" in a firefight because they could not remember my real name.

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marx marvelous

marx marvelous

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"All Aboard! Everyone hop on the Darwinist holocaust train!

 

Well the everyone grab your ticket! The dark side is going to make it that every man, woman and child has free health care. It's not exactly the same, but for me it brings back images of the jews being led towards the death showers in Germany."

 

Look what you've done, Canada & Europe!!!

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Sparq

Sparq

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"Before & After

 

Welcome to Gap Astronomy 101.

 

Attached to this thread are 2-dimensional visualizations of the "heavens ... of old," compared to the "heavens ... which are now." (2 Peter 3:5-7) Mercury, Venus, Earth with habitable Luna, Nibiru along with its satellite, otherwise known as Mars; and Tiamat, which is known in the Bible as Rahab. Judging by the scriptures, I would have to conclude that Tiamat/Rahab was the "capitol planet" of the interplanetary federation led by the Archangel Lucifer. Light from the Sun combined with light from a young star, Jupiter, provided a relatively temperate climate on Tiamat. The environment on Callisto was also quite pleasant!

 

<>

 

When the Archangel Lucifer led his Angels to rebellion, judgment was poured out upon his dominion. The first event, I believe, was the removal of Nibiru from its orbit. God cast this planet into outer darkness, but not without colliding with Tiamat in its path. Tiamat was utterly destroyed. Today, the asteroid belt stands as a testimony of God's Judgment. Venus, Earth, Luna and Mars were bombarded with a portion of this planetary debris. In Psalm 89:9-10, the writer compares the destruction of Egypt to the annihilation of Tiamat:

 

<>

 

The Angelic race which inhabited Venus, Earth, Luna, Mars, and Tiamat, and ultimately rebelled, were annihilated during this series of natural plagues. Notice that I didn't mention Nibiru? Well, it is my belief that some remnants of this Angelic race survived on the planet Nibiru and remain there to this day. These creatures will return in the last days and will, along with the Antichrist, establish the final kingdom foretold in Daniel 2:41-43:

 

<>

 

Several thousand years passed by before fusion within the Jovian core ceased, leaving Jupiter as a large, gaseous planet. With exception of Venus, the Solar system plunged into an ice age. Earth remained lifeless and frozen for thousands, or possibly millions of years.

 

<>

 

UNTIL...

 

<>

 

During the six Creative days (of 24 hours each), God restored the Earth, Sun, and Moon, to their present state:

 

<>

 

Any thoughts?

"

 

B

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Sparq

Sparq

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ecnarf may enjoy this one...

 

"obviously richard dawkins is stupid, the other day someone asked asked me "why i thought RNA retroviruses required reversed transcription of their genome and to give an example of viruses that don't" I answered instantaneously "god made it so" boom next question! Since i was born again i can answer any question 100 times faster than the first time i was born."

 

paricutin21, Youtube 2007-Jun-12

 

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I check back for new stuff every few weeks, so chances are this thread will be...hell..."born again" on occasion. "Saved" even.

 

Hallelujah.

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Sparq

Sparq

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"Hello!

 

My name is Adam. I was just surfing the web and came across this forum and decided to make a quick register and write a topic, as i saw there was quite a few god-deniers here, and I wanted to ask them (you) why you are like this.

 

The only reasons I myself can come up with would be that you are such a self-centred person that you do not want God to "decide" what you are allowed to do, and not to do. Maybe you are a gambler, go to brothels, a killer or a thief. I hope of course most of you are not, but just as a logical assumption, i must assume you are something like that, or similar to any of it, as i see no other reason.

 

I am a proud American. And my personal opinion is that god-deniers should not be considered american citizens as this country was founded upon the glory of God. And my country is currently, and have been during the last century the guardian of peace for the world. We protected the world from communism, terrorism, facism and everything that is evil. Even when people insult us, we aid them and give them help. We give poor countrys billions of dollars just because we are know it is good and yet, they come and insult us, and then ask for more. How can you, especially as american, deny god and insult your nation in that manner? It makes no sense to me.

 

Best Regards

Adam"

 

adamson, Debating Christianity 2007-Jun-23

 

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Spectacular!

 

Edit: Yes, I realise the irony of posting here while my avatar indicates that I am the Dread Secretary of the US Department of Evil.

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