Dear Abby...

[Moonlight_Graham]

Dear Abby,

My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating.

Also, since he lost his job eight years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and B.S. with his buddies while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?

Signed: Clueless

 

-------------------------------------------

Dear Clueless,

Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman - you don't need him anymore! You're a United States Senator from New York running for President of the United States. Act like one.

[Hyphnip]

lolz.

that could be a real letter.

[decomposinglight]

That's AMAZING. Must fwd fwd fwd!

[Ravenous megin-sane]

Dear Abby,

 

Got a problem. I'm a decent, underpaid, hardworking county coroner. It's

important that my family eat meat at least three times a week. But we just can't

afford to with the prices the way they are. So I bring home some choice cuts from my

autopsy subjects. Just mix in the Tuna Helper:and ta-da!

 

The whole family thinks my new meals are delicious. They ask me what's

my secret. Abby, I think they're getting suspicious. My smart-ass 8-year-old keeps

asking, "Where's all the meat? The red dye #2 kind that's kept in the fridge."

 

If they find out the truth I don't think they'll understand. Abby, what do I tell

my family?

 

DEAR REAGANOMICS VICTIM: Consult your clergyman. Make sure the body's

blessed and everything should be just fine.

[decomposinglight]

DEAR REAGANOMICS VICTIM: Consult your clergyman. Make sure the body's

blessed and everything should be just fine.

;) Excellent. Did you write that one?

[RicardoObviouso]

i hate to come off as "hell bent" or something, but let's be realistic, meg could never come up with anything like that.

see: dead kennedys - dear abby.

[Shiri]

This is hilarious.

[bishopx]

This beyond funny. Jesus, Meg's was pretty good too.

Edited February 23, 2008 by bishopx

[decomposinglight]

i hate to come off as "hell bent" or something, but let's be realistic, meg could never come up with anything like that.

see: dead kennedys - dear abby.

Oh. ;)

 

Thanks.