Remake A Movie, So That It Doesn't Suck

[bishopx]

Okay, so you saw Fantastic 4: Rise Of The Silver Surfer...and it sucked for you.

 

So right here in this thread, tell us how you'd do it better. Plot, storyline, cast, etc...make it better.

[matrix]

I would have gotten rid of that whole Dr. Doom sub plot about him taking the board. And, I wouldn't have changed Invisible Woman's eye color from the first one. It's pretty damn obvious.

[bishopx]

Blade:Trinity

 

1)I would have made Wesley Snipes work for it...He basically fucking varied in size through the series. In the first one, he was pretty buff...the second one, he was massive, and then in the last one, he was damned near scrawny.

 

2)Killing Whistler off before some interaction with Abigail(his daughter)was stupid.

 

3)There should have been more interplay between Blade and Hannibal King.

 

4)Not using a shitty Black Eyed Peas song in the soundtrack(They were only good before Fergie)

 

5)The fight choreography was nowhere as good as the first two, which is sad, because Snipes is very talented martial artist.

 

6) The movie needed 15 more minutes to make it better...so much shit was rushed through.

 

7)Dialogue could have been better

 

8) Filming in the US or Canada would have made a helluva a difference...you could tell it was eastern europe.(Eastern Euro names on Police Station signs.)

[Dan #3]

Southland Tales:

 

a) Hire a new writer to write an entirely different screenplay that holds nothing in common with the original.

 

b) Hire a new director who has talent.

 

c) There is no c) because a) and b) would give the viewer a fighting chance to see something that's not the biggest piece of shit in cinema history.

[bishopx]

Let's remake Daredevil.

 

1) Ben Affleck was a good choice. With some alterations...

a)he was not buff enough. Daredevil is wiry and muscular. Matt should have been in the gym, working for at least 4 months before filming started.

B) He did a good job on the Matt Murdoch dialogue, but did a piss poor job as Daredevil. Daredevil is grim, Batman grim...

C) Daredevil gets angry, Ben played him a little to passive.

 

2) There should have been more Bulls-Eye. Colin Farrell was perfect.

 

3) Someone else should have played Electra. Someone with more exotic features. Jennifer Esposito, I don't know...but someone who could at least look greek. Also, she played it like she was made of wood.

 

4)I accepted that Kingpin was black...Michael Clarke Duncan did a good job...but he needed more screen time.

 

5) There should have been another Daredevil villain in the mix...like Typhoid Mary.

 

6)Also how could you Ben Urich(Who was not working for the Bugle????, be in NYC, and not have a run in with Spiderman.)

 

7)More action sequences...less weepy bullshit.

 

8)The childhood scenes should have been longer...they didn't really explain a lot.

 

9) Where the fuck was Stick???? He trained Murdoch after all.

 

10)Daredevil wouldn't have missed Bulls Eye in the scene when he assinated Electra's father.

 

11)Karen Page is an integral part of the Daredevil character's life...she had like three fucking lines.

[Dan #3]

Spider-Man 3;

 

1) Venom is only set up in this movie. Eddie Brock introduced as well as the symbiote, but they don't merge until the very end of the movie - setting up a decent Venom story for Spidey 4. Topher Grace is perfect for the role as far as I'm concerned, just needed to be way more buff. Much more by the end of the flick. Also, Brock would be given a more hateful outlook instead of love-lorn based initial hatred of Parker. Play up the sociopath in his "relationship" with Gwen, instead of it being a throw away line of "we went on one date."

 

2) Harry's extremely sudden change of heart towards Spidey/Peter is not an immediate thing brought on by his butler going; "btw ur dad wuz a jerk and peterz rite lolz." He would find a video diary and other pieces of evidences that lead him to deus ex machina Spidey's ass.

 

3) No emo-Peter. No fucking walking down the street snapping his fingers and pointing at the bitches. No random Moulin Rouge number in the middle of the movie. The symbiote should have made him more reckless, heartless and ruthless towards his loved ones and the criminals he beats down.

 

4) Gwen Stacy dies by Harry's pre "i luvs my bff again" hand, sending symbiote laden Peter down a spiral of brutality and alienating his loved ones as stated above.

[bishopx]

Okay, so let's talk Spiderman...

 

Spiderman 1 - Kirsten Dunst is cute, but she wasn't saucy enough to be Mary Jane. Mary Jane is a tough girl, with attitude. She also lived with her Aunt when she met Peter, not her parents. I would have like to have seen someone with more attitude who was a natural redhead or at least looked natural as one. I'm open to suggestions...

The green goblin shouldn't have been killed.

 

They never learn from Batman syndrome...YOU DON'T KILL OFF A MAJOR

ADVERSARY!!!!

 

Tobey Maguire is great as Spiderman, but he needed to be more imaginative...The whole cafeteria fight scene, would have been less obvious, if it had been written properly.

 

There should have been a secondary villain in the movie as well...Like maybe Kraven the Hunter(Bruce Campbell should have been doing that, instead of playing the MC.)

 

Spiderman 2 - OKAY #1 what happened to Flash Thompson...by this stage of Peter, Harry, and Mary Jane's friendship...Flash is no longer an asshat and is part of the circle. He also idolizes Spiderman. Gwen Stacy should have been introduced in this movie, and not as window dressing or a plot fixture for Venom. Peter was truly in love with her. It would have added an interesting mix to the situation between Peter and Mary Jane. Also, that whole losing his powers thing...kind of silly. Now if instead, there was some kind of mutation issue, causing him great pain, that would have been better...and it would have been a stronger introduction for Doc Connors(The Lizard). A secondary villain would have been good here as well...like maybe the Shocker or Mysterio...And that shit with him constantly taking the fucking mask off or losing it, throughout the movies...what the fuck.

 

Spiderman 3 - Gwen Stacy, the second most significant love interest in the history of the character...just used as a foil piece to setup the venom intro...Eddie Brock was egotistical and a bully...he wasn't delusional. Also at this point, Harry should have met Liz(The woman he would eventually marry. So there wouldn't have been any kind of flirtation with Mary Jane. There wasn't enough build up of Eddie Brock's character here...he really should have been introduced in 2. Sandman was handled very well. The Venom Dialogue sucked(Where the fuck was the "we are going to eat your brains", and there was none of the interplay that goes on between the Symbiote and Brock. I like the introduction of John Jameson(Starwolf), but it's yet another tangent that was left dangling. Felicia Hardy(Black Cat) would have been a nice addition here, as would an appearance by Kingpin to add menace, or Tombstone. Also, some mentoring from a more mature superhero woul have been good as well. Like maybe Captain America, or someone....

 

It always comes back to the same thing with Marvel Movies though...the Marvel Universe is massive, they just don't utilize the resources there enough.

Edited August 5, 2008 by bishopx

[Dan #3]

I for sure could have done without the subway scene (with the exception of the fight part, 'cos it was badass) in Spidey 2. I did not need to see Peter crowd surfing in the Jesus pose.

 

I was going to do Star Wars, but then I realised I don't have seven hours to point out all the things wrong with the prequel trilogy.

 

Star Trek: Nemesis.

 

1) No driving around on an alien planet in a dune buggy. Completely unnecessary and cheesy.

 

2) Expand the wedding scene. I love watching these characters interact in non-life threatening situations and seeing Wesley Crusher sitting next to his mom (in a Starfleet uniform no less) without explanation bothered me to no end.

 

3) Do away with the cloaked ship being able to fire weapons whilst clocked. Didn't need a Wrath of Khan redux, thank you very much.

 

4) The Remans were the most pointless alien addition to the Star Trek Universe. In their place a sub-plot following Spock's Unification efforts would have made much more sense and would have fit more with the existing storyline.

Edited August 5, 2008 by Dan #3

[bishopx]

I wouldn't touch the Star Wars prequels with a 10 foot pole.

 

Okay, I'll throw in on this one.

 

There should have been a point to the Dune Buggy scene...it was cheesy ala Kirk and Bones rock climbing...

 

The Remans were indeed silly...I agree with the Reunification effort scenario. The whole lost part of the race had already been done, and done well in Insurrection.

 

The lack of interaction and the whole Wesley Crusher unexplained presence thing, really busted my balls during the wedding. That shit definitely to be expanded.

 

The whole Crusher and Picard thing should have been climaxed here...let's make with the spanking the hot redhead already.

 

Okay, me real hard on here, is killing Data. That was so fucking pointless, and even the way the scened unfolded, proved it was unnecessary. It also fucks up continuity...in the Final Episode of TNG, Data is alive and well. And there is no mention of it being a different version of Data...

 

Yeah, the cloaking shit was tired and silly as well.

 

Also, shouldn't there have been an Admiralcy for Picard by now???? Some additional interplay between Troi and Worf(They were an item at some point)? How some mention of the fact that Worf's wife had died? Or some mention of his son.

Edited August 5, 2008 by bishopx

[Dan #3]

The "future" in 'All Good Things' was just a possible future, there's a throw away line at the end of the episode about how Picard told the crew what happened in the future and Data (at least I think it was him) posits that the reason was because it was only a possible future.

 

Besides, given the grandfather effect, that future would no longer exist in their timeline.

[AnOceanPearl]

The actual story line for the Star Wars prequels wasn't bad, it was just written HORRIBLY. For that, there is a simple solution- hire Leigh Brackett and Lawrence Kasdan, who wrote the screenplay for the Empire Strikes Back, to write the screenplays for the prequels, and hire Irvin Kershner to direct. Actually build some sets and not use the CGI as the backdrop all the fucking time. Personally, I would keep the casting the same, for the most part. I think a lot of the cast came off as shitty actors due to shitty scripts, but my faith in Hayden has been diminished. I'd drop him for James Franco.

[bishopx]

I would agree with you for the most part Shane...even though after seeing Hayden in the last movie, and in Jumper...My opinion of him has changed for the better.

 

NO JARJAR!!!!

[AnOceanPearl]

I didn't like him at all in the last film, but then again, they didn't have a whole lot of good material to work with.

 

George Lucas is brilliant as a visionary, but as a screenwriter, he just can't do it.

[bishopx]

I thought they did a good job with what little they gave him to work with. As he grew darker and darker, his ability really began to show.

 

But I agree it did look like Lucas, phoned it in on the last script.

[Moonlight_Graham]

I think a lot of the cast came off as shitty actors due to shitty scripts, but my faith in Hayden has been diminished. I'd drop him for James Franco.

James Franco?!???!?! NO!!!!!!!!!!!

 

First, i'd set EP1 near the same period as EP2 & 3. No matter who you cast, having Anakin as an 8-year old is going to come off cheesy, annoying, and stupid.

 

Also, for the entire prequels i'd have Anakin a little bit older, maybe 25-ish, so they can cast a real good actor in the role & also so Anakin doesn't come off as a whiney teenager. I'm not sure who i'd cast. Maybe Colin Farrel when he was a bit younger, he's got a natural "bad-ass" quality to him & is a good actor despite some really shitty roles (see him in "Tigerland", good movie).

 

I'd get Irvin Kershner or Peter Jackson to direct the prequels. Lucas could still story-board the action sequences if he wanted to, he's still awesome at action scenes just horrible at dialogue.

 

Get rid of as much CGI as possible, like Peter Jackson did in LOTR trlogy.

 

I could go on forver if guess so ill stop.

[bishopx]

I think there's something to this...I could see Franco as being a pretty good Anakin. I still like Hayden...but maybe...

Edited September 15, 2008 by bishopx

[Moonlight_Graham]

Star Trek: Nemesis.

 

1) No driving around on an alien planet in a dune buggy. Completely unnecessary and cheesy.

 

2) Expand the wedding scene. I love watching these characters interact in non-life threatening situations and seeing Wesley Crusher sitting next to his mom (in a Starfleet uniform no less) without explanation bothered me to no end.

 

3) Do away with the cloaked ship being able to fire weapons whilst clocked. Didn't need a Wrath of Khan redux, thank you very much.

 

4) The Remans were the most pointless alien addition to the Star Trek Universe. In their place a sub-plot following Spock's Unification efforts would have made much more sense and would have fit more with the existing storyline.

 

Star Trek: Nemesis was a big letdown for me. I have always loved the Romulans as an enemy in STTNG. Unlike some of the other races they are smart, cunning, yet still ruthless and they just overall scare me. I've always dreamed of having a STTNG movie with an all-out war between the Federation and Romulans, which i thought this was going to be but it was a snoozer of a plot.

 

If i could remake this flick i would get rid of that whole stupid Picard look-alike dude. That was dumb. And like i said, there would be an all-out war between the two factions. The main Romulan adversary would be, duh!, a Romulan of badass qualities & awesome military intelligence (like a Romulan Hitler) instead of that dumb human Picard clone, and he and Picard could go head-to-head in a battle of wits to win the war.

 

I also miss the old Enterprise. The new bridge just doesn't have the same personality, the ship is a character all to itself. I could handle them having a new Enterprise but don't change it as drastically. Make it have most of the same design but just give it a cool new coat of paint.

[Hyphnip]

X-Men, all three movies.

I would have kept the costumes from the comics, fucked around with some danger room stuff. I would have done better character development of all characters (instead of just Wolverine) cast someone else as Storm. And lastly, if I decided to go the Phoenix route, I would have had her as the main villain in one movie, instead of a sub villain, following Magneto.

[bishopx]

I like the way you think Timbo...but let's see if we can take it a lil farther..

 

First Movie - Should have had more character development, with more of an emphasis on Cyclops, Jean, and I would have had Banshee and introduced Angel sooner here. Personally, I think that Iceman should have already been an X-Man, and the original lineup should have been referenced more...With Jean, Scott, and Bobby being holdovers from that group. I liked Halle Berry as Storm, but she wasn't given much to do, that made her look pretty lame. Sabretooth should not have been a mute growling moron. Victor Creed is not a stupid man. Mystique is more ruthless, and more vocal. They also should have added an additional brotherhood member, like Avalanche. I liked the character development with pyro, it would have been more interesting with Bobby already an X-Man though. Colossus appearing here would have been good too.

No real explanations of the technology, also made this hard to swallow. Introducing Forge here would have helped, and it would have given Storm something to do.

 

Second Movie - This would have been a good setup for the New Mutants/X-Force. All in all though it wasn't too bad. Too much focus on Wolvie though...and once again everyone else was left to chew scenery... Nightcrawler was more of a freak...and could have been written better. His swashbuckling humor would have made more of a difference.

 

Third Movie - I don't know where to begin...They should have used the Mastermind character here to better explain Jean's defection. The original Phoenix story should have been employed here, I think. Killing off Jean and Scott was just stupid. Angel's non-presence also sucked. Yes the professor did get a cloned body in the comics...but it was cloned...c'mon... Storm and Wolverine taking on the Brotherhood single handedly, also pretty lame, they would have used more teamwork. Juggy not being introduced as Xavier's stepbrother also very lame, it would have been very helpful back story. Just like Moira MacTaggart being introduced with minimal explanation...and no reference to Banshee...still. That final showdown X-lineup was shitty...Colossus, Beast, Kitty, Storm, Wolvie, and Iceman...Cable would have been a perfect fit here(and a setup for a Cable/X-Force movie)...so would Nightcrawler, and where the fuck was Angel...Storm wasn't even really leading...there was minimal teamwork...it was more like, let's throw shit against the wall and see if it sticks... I would have rewritten it from scratch...keeping only the premise...Also, Mystique losing her powers was fucking stupid...Madrox's introduction also stupid. Storm losing her powers like she did in the comics would have been much more interesting, and being forced to whup ass...that was always hard, not seeing Storm hardcore like she can be in the comics.

[Computer]

I would have substituted the Dr. Seuss novel, "Go Dog Go", for the entire script of "The Vacation" and then subsequently punched Cameron Diaz in the face.

[bishopx]

Also on the subject of the X-Men trilogy, what the fuck...could they not have utilized the goddamned Hellfire Club.

[Hyphnip]

If they had done that, they probably would have had Emma have an overly smarmy British accent and dressed her up in Black Leather. I think it might be better that they didn't do anything.

[bishopx]

No, I think they would have stayed true to it...besides Selene would have stolen the show as the Black Queen... they might have gone with Donald Pierce, and added Shinobi Shaw as well. They would have left Emma as white queen, because she's the most recognizable member, her defection would have been perfect, and would have created a pretty interesting situation if she had pursued Cyclops, after Jean's death in the second movie.

Edited March 18, 2009 by bishopx

[Moonlight_Graham]

X-Men, all three movies.

I would have kept the costumes from the comics, fucked around with some danger room stuff. I would have done better character development of all characters (instead of just Wolverine) cast someone else as Storm. And lastly, if I decided to go the Phoenix route, I would have had her as the main villain in one movie, instead of a sub villain, following Magneto.

 

I agree 100%.

 

Yes, fuck the black leather. I also wouldn't have made cyclops such a loser. He's a bit of a dork in the comics, but at least he's likeable. Would have casted Jim Caviezel there. And somebody more tough as Storm, like Angela Bassett.. Halle Berry sucked ass.

 

I also wouldn't have kept the whole "they are teens" thing as strict. C'mon Rogue is supposed to be sexy. But i did like some of the interactions between say rogue and Bobby etc.

 

And why did they have that Pyro loser villian. And Toad?? There were so many awesome villians they could have used in the flicks. Mr. Sinister, Apocolyspe etc. I mean c'mon!!

[bishopx]

I don't think I would have recast storm or Cyclops...they just needed better writing...I think Jim Caveziel would have been a tough sell, as much as I like him. What made Berry so bad was the script...she was essentially a prop... Angela Bassett wouldn't have put up with that shit. So I agree she would have made a good choice as well. Marsden is extremely talented, and I think like Berry was made to be a prop. POOR WRITING throughout the series.

 

While I liked the Rogue and Iceman stuff...Gambit would have been awesome here. He would have made the interactions a hell of a lot more interesting.

 

As for Pyro and Toad...I agree way better villains....Sinister would have been perfect...and would have helped evolve Cyclops and Jean in particular a lot better. Apocalypse...Maybe in the third movie...Nemesis, and Sugarman would have been interesting, as would the Sentinels and Nimrod...

 

Personally, I would love it if a trilogy of movies were done based on X-Cutioners Song storyline...the possibilities would be endless from that point...or even better the Mutant Massacre...