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kbernardp

Dear Buffalo

By kbernardp, in Open Discussion

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kbernardp

kbernardp

Posted
Posted (edited)

Dear Buffalo,

 

We know you have heart, a knack for turning scrap meats into spicy fingerfood, and shitloads of cereal. But you really don't need to brag about it all the time.

 

Congratulations on keeping Vanek around this season (at $166,666.00 per point... Yes, Buffalo. I know you're not so good at the math, but you're paying Thomas Vanek nearly three times your average annual household income everytime he passes it to a guy who passes it to someone else and scores a goal.)

 

But that doesn't mean you need to go to on a Southwest division road trip and pour your beer on a guy in Atlanta, for example. This, Buffalo, is what the rest of the world likes to call "poor judgement." I've only been there once, but I'm pretty sure the average barista in Atlanta can kick your ass if not put a venti-sized cap in it.

 

It also doesn't mean you need to spoil entire US tours that are more infrequent than having a non-Clinton or non-Bush as President. Why am I not surprised that the rest of us equate you with Philadelphia after all this?

 

The irony is that while the rest of us will have to go to Canada to see the full band tour (we know we won't see another 'tour for a loss' down here with an entire band in tow), he'll probably be in Buffalo again soon. So now you'll have Thomas Vanek, chicken wings, cereal, a need for etiquette classes, and most-likely another Matt Good show.

 

But you don't have to be such dicks about it.

 

Through all of this nobody has learned that Buffalo is entitled to nothing. Hell, none of us are, but with your track record of failed Eastern Conference finals, wide-right kicks, and being dangerously close to bankruptcy you still can't keep your mouth shut and your luck in the piggy bank. With regard to the bankruptcy; you should all be giving Tom Golisano daily rim-jobs. Wait, you're Buffalo. You are definitely giving Tom Golisano daily rim-jobs.

 

Just stop fucking it all up for the rest of us. Your drunken swagger on Chippewa isn't warranted just because you live in the land that God forgot. It is true that disruptive children typically receive the most attention, but you, Buffalo, are not a child. You are the land that God forgot, and that is all. (Which is proof that Matt Good isn't god because he happened to remember you.)

 

Simmer down. Have a roast beef sandwich on rolls caked in road salt, drink sixteen labatt blues before lunch, and just take a nap. It's okay to take one day off out of the year where you don't feel the need to convince yourselves -out loud - that Buffalo is awesome. Buffalo is about as awesome as Sarah Jessica Parker is hot.

 

With that said, nice win over Boston.

Edited by kbernardp
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Guest Prosis

Guest Prosis

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Posted

I believe this has to do with some disturbance at the last Buffalo show. But Matt took the explanation down because he was receiving mean emails.

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soundless_space

soundless_space

Posted
Posted (edited)

I'm lost. If it were really that big of a deal, I think Matt would be more upset about it? I mean I know he's good at letting things slide because shit happens to him all the time, but it didn't seem like what happened was that bad, I don't know.

 

Edit: either that or people know something I don't.

Edited by soundless_space
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Guest Prosis

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Posted
I'm lost. If it were really that big of a deal, I think Matt would be more upset about it? I mean I know he's good at letting things slide because shit happens to him all the time, but it didn't seem like what happened was that bad, I don't know.

 

Edit: either that or people know something I don't.

I had written something here about an incident after the show. I have since been fielding nasty emails because of it. That said, go fuck yourselves, I don
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leftofnormal38

leftofnormal38

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Posted

what exactly is your reason for that post?

 

i apologize that we havent won a stanley cup in buffalo and vanek is overpayed thanks to kevin lowe in edmonton. im sorry our people suck and we have no values...

 

seriously...what are you tring to get out of wasting 30 minutes of your life complaining about buffalo?

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decomposinglight

decomposinglight

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Posted

You seem miffed to an excessive extent about this... He was just angry and venting. I'm not saying he's right in what he did, but there was at least a small attempt at humour in it. I'm also sure he has had some bad experiences in Buffalo and you weren't a part of them. He isn't meaning to insult you specifically, especially since as MG fans we're kind of all in the same boat here - our cities matter little.

 

Here's to kbernardp's shot at redemption on the Bored.

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