Cat Sex

[Ruettiger]

This thread is weird, and that means alot coming from me.

[static]

The beauty of forums is i can stop reading whenever i want.

The pains of humanity is that i am bound to keep reading by a creepy curiosity.

(anyone that makes a "curiousity killed the cat" joke will not die, just have to live with the knowledge that i predicted that they would say that. And thus question every waking act of their life. "Did i really do this? Or was it fate aka Elliot?" And it will drive you to madness.)

[Ruettiger]

Yeah...Static...there's some "toillets" that need cleaning. So, go do that.

[static]

The beauty of forums is i can stop reading whenever i want.

The pains of humanity is that i am bound to keep reading by a creepy curiosity.

(anyone that makes a "curiousity killed the cat" joke will not die, just have to live with the knowledge that i predicted that they would say that. And thus question every waking act of their life. "Did i really do this? Or was it fate aka Elliot?" And it will drive you to madness.)

[The_Rat_Who_Would_be_King]

This may be evidence. But I, being the scientist that I am, refuse tot ake it as proof. As stated earlier, I'm going to spend a minimum of three hours in several different libraries tomorrow getting to the bottom of this. Lets just hope my curiosity...doesnt...KILL ME! Ahahaha. God I'm hilarious.

 

[Ravenous Yam]

It would probably save time to call a petstore or cat breeder and find out.

 

Or you could blow hours wandering through every library in town.

 

Of course, to call a petstore and ask "if cats have sex butt to butt" would result in being hung up on 50% of the time, and a resounding 'what the fuck??' the other 50%. It still may save time though.

Edited October 5, 2005 by Ravenous Yam

[The_Rat_Who_Would_be_King]

I think it would be funnier if I called libraries and asked them if cats had sex butt to butt. I think they'd be too alarmed to hang up.

[ecnarf]

Now it's jsut you and me here. It almost feels wrong. Check this fools. I've read an article in which it talks about hoe "Big Cats" get it on, and it clearly makes the distinction between big cats and regular cats.

Size doesn't matter.

[Ravenous Yam]

That's not what i hear.

[Ruettiger]

Why aren't you guys just going to the source to ask?

 

Yam, HOW do you have sex with your cats?

[Ravenous Yam]

First i use my amazing wizard powers to turn them into beautiful human females, then i have sex with them however i feel like.

Then i turn them back into cats and throw them into a live volcano. Then i have sex with the volcano, throw it into a bigger volcano, and throw that volcano into the sun. Then i throw the sun into a black hole, have sex with the black hole, throw the black hole into a bigger black hole, have sex with that, and then feed the black hole to more stray cats i pick up off the street.

Then i take those cats, sell them to Chinese food restaurants by the pound, and while theyre weighing the cats, i steal all their sexy Chinese waitresses. Then i have sex with them, kill them, eat them, and throw their bones out of the window of the bus and kill homeless people. Then i go home and watch tv.

[Ruettiger]

All the cats would be gone in like a week.

[Ravenous Yam]

All the cats will be gone in like a week. Then i'm coming for ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!!!! I CAN NOT BE APPEASED!!!!!!!

[Ravenous megin-sane]

i can't believe this thread is still going.

[Ruettiger]

I feel uneasy in knowing that Ravenous Yam will have sex with me sometime in the future.

[borntohula]

having sex with black holes must be difficult, like throwing a hotdog down a .... black hole.

[Ruettiger]

Or in his case, nothing.

[static]

Oh! I love to go out fishing

In a river or a creek,

But I don't enjoy it half as much

As (f*cking) cheek to cheek.

-Fred Astaire

 

And if you can't trust Fred Astaire, who CAN you trust?

[The_Rat_Who_Would_be_King]

Me. And according to a book I found with rather graphic descriptions the best way to describe it would be doggy style. The dude cat would have to be in a pretty awkward position though. I guess the book that was in my class, if I remember it correctly, was either from before they they really knew how cats got it on (since they do it in secret and won't if there's a human around), or they lied so as not to taint kids and make them want to do it cat-style. But this is no reason to let this thread die.

[Ravenous Yam]

having sex with black holes must be difficult, like throwing a hotdog down a .... black hole.

I'm just that amazing. I can bend space and time to fulfill my urges. And besides, it's the black hole who walks away sore.

 

I feel uneasy in knowing that Ravenous Yam will have sex with me sometime in the future.

 

At least it isn't just you, it's everyone.

[borntohula]

But this is no reason to let this thread die.

long live the thread about cat-sex and ravenous yam sexing everything he can!!!

[static]

I believe in you cat sex thread!

[The_Rat_Who_Would_be_King]

OK! So now lets talk about why cat's are so private about their sex lives and what that says about society as a whole. Anyone have any opinions?

 

Also, to stay even more on topic, lets say cats did have butt to butt sex. If this became a wide known fact, do you think people would turn on cats and start buying them. I mean who would want an animal under their roof who doesn't eff like any god fearing human, like a dog. Not me.

 

And also, could ravenous yam sex up something so sexily, that even he couldn't have sex with it? Discuss.

[Ruettiger]

How can you "sex up" something without having sex with it?

[The_Rat_Who_Would_be_King]

Like this. Or like this. Or even like this. There are plenty of ways!