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Best Family Guy Quotes

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Guest apsham

I hate hate hate the show, but there were a couple of parts from the movie that I liked, specifically:


Diane Simmons: Tom, what are you doing? You don't work here anymore.

Tom Tucker: Well Diane, I have an exclusive story. And I... can't figure out how to check my e-mail from home.

Ollie the Weatherman: [off-screen] Did you check your TCP/IP settings?

Tom Tucker: Yes I did, Ollie.

Ollie the Weatherman: [off-screen] Enable cookies?

Tom Tucker: Yes, Ollie.

Ollie the Weatherman: [off-screen] You want this dog?

Tom Tucker: No thank you, Ollie.


Al Harrington: Hi, I'm Al Harrington, President and CEO of Al Harrington's Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man Emporium and Warehouse! Thanks to a shipping error I am now overstocked on wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube men, and I am passing the savings on to *you*! Attract customers to your business, make a splash at your next presentation, keep grandma company, protect your crops, confuse your neighbours! African American? Hail a cab, testify in church or just raise the roof! Whatever your wacky waving inflatable arm flailing tube man needs, come on down to Al Harrington's Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man Emporium and Warehouse, route two in Weekapaug!

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This is Trisha Takinawa...thump (hit by car in a hurricane)


Don't I get a (oompa loompa) song...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....eeeeeeeeeeeeee...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...eeeeeeeeeeeee.

......................(or whatever)

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And the episode with Andy and his wife fighting in the cartoon circle thingy and they run over Quagmire and he says "what the hell, di I just get laid?"


And the part where he asks the lesbians if they've ever been penetrated...

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wasnt there already a family guy quote thread at somepoint?

Could have sworn I created one....meh whatever


Dear diary, jackpot!


Who the hell do you think you are?!


Tom: And now to our weatherman Ollie Williams for the Blackie-Weather Forecast, Ollie?


Tom: Don't you have an umbrella?

Olie: USED TO!

Tom: Where is it now?


Tom: Is there anything we can do for you?


Tom: What kind?


Tom: Thanks, Ollie. Up next, a pig that refuses to eat Jews. After this.



Tom Tucker: And now over to Ollie Williams for the blackie punishment forecast, Ollie?

Ollie: HE GON' GET IT!

Tom Tucker: Thanks Ollie!



Ollie Williams rocks.


Lois: Peter your going to Meg's play and that's that

Peter: Is that that now Mrs. That's That.

Lois: If you're going to shoot me then you might wanna tie your shoe laces first

Now are you going to goto Meg's play or not?


Lois: You like eatin red carpet tough guy?


Lois: Say you like eatin red carpet!

Peter: I like eating red carpet

Quagmire (from outside the house on the street): Gigidy

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