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sodamntired

Stupid Shit You've Heard People Say

By sodamntired, in Open Discussion

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sodamntired

sodamntired

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Posted

We've all heard somebody say something that made us go, What?

 

Ryan - "they're probably going to fire all of Hollywood, cause they can just make movies on their computers now."

 

-- yeah, cause they can also use computers to voice the cartoons, and they can also use computers to write the scripts. yup, all of Hollywood and film making is now controlled by the almighty computers

 

Jesse - "did you know Hitler was married to a 12 year old?"

 

-- WAIT! Hitler was a pedophile? That's all I need to hear. Sure, he was responsible for the deaths of millions of Jews in the holocaust, but he had sex with a 12 year old??? thats it. Hitler was a bad bad man.

 

I'm sure I've got some more, but it's your turn(s).

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RicardoObviouso

RicardoObviouso

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sodamntired; "everything I've ever said is the stupidest shit."

 

(Predictable joke? Yes, but I stand by it.)

you couldn't have picked a better thread to make yourself look like an idiot.

 

 

in keeping on-topic:

 

driving on I15 just outside aubern, washington:

"how come there are so many washington plates.... aren't we in seattle?"

 

"ottawa is a country"

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Azalroth

Azalroth

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Typical conversation with American customers *sigh*

Also this took place in the summer....(He wasn't even that far south)

 

"So where you guys located?"

"Ottawa, Canada" (oh and yes I NEED to say Canada...there is apparently a tonne of Ottawa cities in the states)

 

"How cold is it?"

"Oh around 30C...so around 80F for you guys"

"Wow that's the same temp as it is here"

 

We aren't all living in igloos ya know....Thanks for coming out America.

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sodamntired

sodamntired

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Posted (edited)

typical conversation by Canadian customers (at a past job at TARGET)

 

"oh, I think they only allow you to use your credit card once a day"

 

"do you know how to get to Wal-mart?"

 

What am I, an information desk?

Edited by sodamntired
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AnOceanPearl

AnOceanPearl

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Some American callers looking for Canadian 411 listings are hilarious and stupid:

 

"What city and province please?"

"Ontario, Canada."

"What city in Ontario?"

"Uh... Ontario, Canada?"

"I still need to know what city."

"I thought Ontario WAS the city."

 

And a dad to his daughter at Petland:

 

"Look at these gigantic hamsters!"- He was looking at guinea pigs.

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bishopx

bishopx

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We have a couple of "stalkers". Guys, who call us everytime we post a new job, and they feel they're qualified for it. They basically bounce between me and my boss, when we try to ignore them. Now here's the important thing...they are never even remotely qualified for the jobs we post.

 

Rick: I see you posted a job for a senior network engineer. last week. I'm very interested.

 

Me: Well, yes it's a senior network engineer position, requiring various certifications.

 

Rick: Can you put me in for it?

 

Me: Rick, you don't have any of the certs they're looking for. This is for a very large network, with 8 satellite locations, all linked up. You really don't have any of the any experience with this type of network. This would be as very bad fit for you.

 

Rick: Are you sure?

 

Me: Yes Rick, I'm sure.

 

Rick: How about this Software Product Manager position?

 

Me: Have you ever written a white paper? Drawn up specs? Solicited existing clients for new specs?, Edit product documentation?

 

Rick: No...

 

Me: Rick you realize this is 75 miles from your house right?

 

Rick: Oh yeah, I was hoping they'd let me work from home most of the week.

 

(Under my breath, I say, are you fucking serious????)

 

Me: That's not really feasible for this position Rick. Can we talk later? I have an scheduled call in a few, and I need to go.

 

Rick: Can you transfer me to your boss?

 

Me: Sure.

 

I transfer him straight to my bosses vmail.

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HoboFactory

HoboFactory

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At one point, I overheard the following exchange between a kid and a man who was, as I gather from their exchange, his father. Imagine it in a very heavy redneck drawl.

 

 

Father: How do ya s'pect to get strong if you keep readin' all them books?

 

Son: I swear, dad, it was only a short book!

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bishopx

bishopx

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I take it she's his ex because he realized that she was barely to think inside the box, nevermind outside of it?

 

My boss and I went for breakfast at this new place today.

 

My Boss: I would like a blueberry muffin, and I have the free coffee coupon you gave out last week.

Cashier: You have to purchase something to use the coupon.

My Boss: Yes, I know...I ordered a blueberry muffin as well.

Cashier: Sir, previous day's purchases don't count.

 

Before I continue, I should tell you, that my boss is the most even patient guy, I know.

 

My Boss: Let's try this again...I would like to buy a blueberry muffin, and I have a coupon for a free coffee with the purchase...

Cashier: Why didn't you say so?

 

I thought my boss was going to kill this nipplehead. No wonder I ended up sick from the food...it's being made by morons.

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bishopx

bishopx

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coupons? seriously?

 

 

 

fuck. if i worked in a cafe and someone handed me a coupon for a free cup of coffee, i'd work them a bit, too.

If you offer a free cup of coffee to get people to come in to your newly opened establishment...and you end up playing asshole...who are you hurting?

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Hyphnip

Hyphnip

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I went to the Corn Maze the other night (lots of fun) and got seperated from my friends (I had to pee) eventually I found my way out by myself but they were all still in there so I went back into the maze. As I was walking I passed this couple and the guy looked at the girl and asked "So when do we get to the corn part of the maze?" and his girl said "Honey, this is corn all around us" and he replied "Thats not what corn looks like!! It's small and yellow" she sighed and said "The corn grows on these plants" and then I laughed at the guys stupidity

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RicardoObviouso

RicardoObviouso

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we were at whole foods yesterday and my girlfriend picked something up. i give her a hard time because it seems like she always goes for the most expensive choice in whatever she's seeking out. this time was different. she picked something significantly cheaper and i said "uh, no way! nothing less than $10 goes in this cart!" as a joke.

a woman standing beside us says "this is whole foods, you have to be prepared to pay a premium for higher quality.... and it IS less than $10... pffft"

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Computer

Computer

Posted
Posted
we were at whole foods yesterday and my girlfriend picked something up. i give her a hard time because it seems like she always goes for the most expensive choice in whatever she's seeking out. this time was different. she picked something significantly cheaper and i said "uh, no way! nothing less than $10 goes in this cart!" as a joke.

a woman standing beside us says "this is whole foods, you have to be prepared to pay a premium for higher quality.... and it IS less than $10... pffft"

should have given her a headbutt to the tits.

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borntohula

borntohula

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Posted
we were at whole foods yesterday and my girlfriend picked something up. i give her a hard time because it seems like she always goes for the most expensive choice in whatever she's seeking out. this time was different. she picked something significantly cheaper and i said "uh, no way! nothing less than $10 goes in this cart!" as a joke.

a woman standing beside us says "this is whole foods, you have to be prepared to pay a premium for higher quality.... and it IS less than $10... pffft"

weird woman, agreed.

but no one who has qualms about buying over-priced food shops at whole foods.

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